I've had a really great last couple of days. I know I talk mostly about food-related issues on here, but I just have to say that I am so happy that Kaleb is riding his bike finally!! Those of you who know me personally, and know Kaleb, may know this is a huge deal! He typically does NOT like going outside at all, but he did it! And he is a pro already! He had the biggest smile on his face every time he rode past me. :) I even went out and bought myself a bike (which I've wanted to for a long time) and we went on two bike rides yesterday. AND he got in the pool with Anna and Nathan too ... he said he LIKES being outside now! Haha. Very excited.
He has been off his ADHD meds now for two weeks! And he is so much more "himself" now. He is happier, and definitely much less irritable. Only a few minor incidents of him getting upset at all, so much much improved. I guess I'm so excited just that we can, for the first time really, go out and do more outdoors-y stuff and him actually enjoy it. Steve is bringing bikes home from his parents' house too so we can all go on family bike rides. Yay! Between everything going on in our life right now, me working third shift, teaching our classes, doc appointments, Steve's crazy schedule, only having his kiddos during the daytime most days ... we just don't really get a lot of family time, so yes, a family bike ride is exciting to me! Or just getting to spend mommy-kaleb time doing something more enjoyable than playing xbox, beyblades, or legos! And to get to spend time OUTSIDE, that isn't walking to/from a vehicle...priceless!
Ok, just wanted to share that!
Back to food and exercise! LOL
For those of you still wondering why I'm doing this (posting my every bite) ... there are a few different reasons. I have had a lot of girls ask me "what do you eat?". Well, here it is! It is also my own food log. No point in keeping a separate log somewhere. Accountability is a big one. Because my food struggles are in my head, it's a psychological thing. Knowing that I'm going to post it later, and someone may read it, HAS prevented me from eating things that I would have later regretted. For some people, "weight loss", "fat loss", "healthy living", "eating clean" - whatever you want to call it - is "simple". Eat real foods, avoiding processed food, eat lean meats, fruits & veggies, whole grains. Eat slower, listen to your body-stop when you're full..... Yes, the concept is simple. The reality of applying it, for some, is not always so simple. We all have our own different struggles. What's easy for some is not easy for others. It doesn't mean we don't understand the concept of WHAT to do to achieve what we want to achieve. However, it doesn't meant that we can't or won't achieve it either. It just means we may use different tools. For me, being visible and accountable helps me. Because I am FULLY capable of eating the entire dozen cookies by myself. But would be HORRIFIED if I did, and someone knew about it. Not everyone can understand what it's like to have a food addiction. To, for whatever reason, eat junk food to EXCESS in private when no one is looking. To eat, and eat, and eat candy bars, cookies, cake ... whatever is there...even if it isn't the best tasting thing in the world... just eating it because it's sweet and no one is looking. To raid the kids' halloween candy when people are sleeping. To raid the fridge/cabinets for any sweet that can be found...or if there is nothing, find an excuse to run to the store/gas station because I "NEED" something sweet. I know it sounds rediculous...to some. To others, you may think, HOLY CRAP I'VE BEEN THERE! For those people ... that's my biggest reason for posting. It is an addiction. One that I am beating. I can't "fix" my addictive personality. But I'm learning how to be stronger than it.
So please don't misinterpret my "good food/bad" food comments or anything along those lines as "beating myself up" for treating myself. I'm not giving advice on how others should eat. I make the decision for everything I put in my mouth. I enjoy my girls nights desserts & drinks. And my cinnamon rolls with Kaleb. And yeah, I may eat more than what is "normal" for most other people...but I'm not eating the whole dozen. And I'm not bingeing when no one is looking....because now I never know who is looking. I vowed to post every bite, and I do. Not that this blog is the sole purpose I don't binge. But it helps. It's one of my tools. And even though it's a tool for ME, that doesn't mean that others can't relate to it.
So wow, I didn't intend for this post to totally expose the severity of my addiction, but hey, there it is.
My initial intention was just to post my food...hahaha. So here ya go!
Thursday
PWO: Oatmeal, berries, banana, milk
Noon BodyPump (#1)
Protein/berry shake, 1/4 of Kaleb's leftover burger
PWO: WG English muffin/pb/agave, milk
5:30 BodyCombat, 6:30pm BodyPump (#2)
9pm Chicken, couscous, veggies
Girls night! Yummy pudding/strawberry/angel food cake dessert, chocolate chip cookies (lost count), Vodka
Friday
McD's Egg white delight, yogurt parfait, Half cinnamon melt* (Kaleb and I shared one, love when we get to have breakfast out together, and we always get a cinnamon roll!)
1:30pm Burger, a few potato chips
PWO: Clif bar
5:30pm BodyCombat, CXWorx
8:30pm Pizza King pizza and cheese bread (did much better than usual, stopped when full, and not waaay overful...progress)
Chocolate Chip Cookies (4, counting the one unbaked=600 cals). Now I know why I don't keep this stuff at home!
Saturday
PWO: WG english muffin/pb/agave, milk
9:30 BodyPump, 10:30 BodyCombat
Protein milk
12:30 Tuna (no bread), a few tortilla chips w/ salsa
6pm Panera Steak and Blue cheese chopped salad - YUM!!(no baguette)
Pear
First of all I do not have a cravings or food addiction problem so I do not get what you are going trough except when I feel like I must have something spicy, fatty, fried or salty.
ReplyDeleteI wonder about two things. The first thing is that it seems to me that on some of you meals you hardly ever go above 2,000 calories in a 24hr period do you think this is true?
The other thing is to ask you if you had ever tried a low carb diet ? I ask this because back in my younger years when I just watch what I ate and keep my calories at 1,200 (dumb I know ) but still had carbs my cravings where horrible and I was hungry all day long. I have noticed that when I keep my net carbs below 50 per day (not that you will be able to with the amount of cardio you do everyday) my cravings completly disappear and I have to remind myself to eat.
I enjoyed your post today. Keep up the good work. Later i might tell you my experience with my girlfriend's son and his ADHD ;)
If I were logging food again, my goal would be anywhere between 1500-1800 a day, depending on my workouts that day. There are days I'm well over 2,000, and days where I'm probably somewhere within that range. I'm definitely not disciplined enough to count macros, but yes I have done low carb, and my energy levels suffered, but I do feel better when I cut out white carbs (see today's post).
ReplyDeleteI would love to hear your story.
Thanks for your support!! :)